The Ultimate Guide to Family Photos on Your Wedding Day

Family photos are some of the most valuable & important photos you’ll take at your wedding (if you’re inviting any family that is!).

Family dynamics for each set of couples can be vastly different & sometimes tricky and sensitive topics such as divorces, deaths, bad blood, unsupportive family members, etc need to be addressed. We take this part of the wedding day very seriously for our couples.

It can get overwhelming deciding who to choose getting a family photo with because we certainly don’t want to insult anyone or have hurt feelings (unless they deserve to have hurt feelings, then by all means, go for it), but you also don’t want to be taking pictures all day.

Our recommendation is this:
Immediate family (parents, step parents, grandparents, siblings + their spouses & children, and step-siblings): 100% on your list. So long as you have a good relationship & want a photo with them that is.

We are firm believers that blood alone does not make family. Pseudo parents, adoptive parents, etc. are still parents.

Extended family & friends: (aunts, uncles, cousins, high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc.) either do these at your rehearsal dinner/ welcome party, or keep it to no more than 2 groups per side. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that.

Formal Family Photos

1. Create a List with Your Wedding Photographer

We recommend having a call or email exchange with your wedding photographer to create the list. They’re not only a neutral outside source if you need someone on your side, but they will also be able to let you know how much time its going to take if you start going over board and make you realize that you don’t want to spend an entire hour taking family photos.

Your wedding photographer does this every weekend and probably has a great system put into place to knock these out efficiently and quickly! Kelly Dillon Photography is an experienced Cape Cod wedding photographer that can help take high-quality photos of your wedding.

2. Stick to the VIPs Only

You don’t need a family photo with everyone. If you can’t see yourself printing out the photo, giving it as a gift to that person, or having it be in your wedding album, you probably don’t need it.

VIP’s can include parents, siblings & grandparents but are also important people in your life that you feel super close to. Maybe it’s someone else who raised you, or is special to you in another way, even if they aren’t blood related.

Again: We are firm believers that blood alone does not make family. Pseudo parents or adoptive parents are still parents.

3. Take Most If Not All of Them Before the Ceremony

If you’re doing a First Look we absolutely encourage you to get all of these formal photos completed before the ceremony. This way you and your family can mingle at cocktail hour and create memories together!

If you’re not doing one, we still should do as many groupings as possible before the ceremony. Basically any photos that don’t require your partner to be in them should be done before the ceremony. This way, we don’t have as many to do afterwards so you get more time for couples photos!

Read our Tips for Family Photos on Your Wedding day for a list of photos we think you need

4. Divorced Parents, Deaths, & Mixed Families

Every single family is unique, including yours & your partners. Its so important to communicate clearly to your wedding photographer of any sensitive situations to avoid conflict, upsetting anyone unintentionally, or causing awkward situations (because yeah, I’ve definitely asked divorced parents to cuddle up and kiss for a portrait before because I wasn’t told they were divorced).

Divorced parents: do they get along and are cool being in photos together or will they start screaming at each other if they’re in line of sight? Maybe your mom & step mom are BFF’s and want a photo together (we’ve had that requested a few times!).

Deaths: Perhaps a sibling has passed away or a grandparent you were super close to. Maybe your mother did when you were a child but your aunt has stepped into that role your entire life, so she’s going to be there with her partner & children for family photos but so is your biological father.

Mixed Families: some people see their step-siblings as family and love them and some don’t. So this one can be tricky so really think on if it’s going to cause tension and stress if you don’t invite them to be part of the photos.

Or maybe you just straight up don’t get along with your family & have gone no contact. While we don’t need to know your private reasons, we do need to know they won’t be there so we don’t say “hey where’s mom so she can help you get dressed?” and then you feel awkward.

And something to keep in mind for your own sanity is that while yes, its yours & your partner’s day and you shouldn’t be forced to include certain people in family photos, we do encourage you to pick your battles. Sometimes it’s just easier to agree to include someone you dislike in 1 photo if you know it means doing so will make the wedding planning process & wedding day less stressful because now no ones upset with you, buuuuut ultimately you need to do what’s best for your mental health on the topic, so don’t be afraid to also put your foot down about NOT wanting including someone.

5. Prepare for Little Kids to Not Participate

Listen. Im sorry. Little kids run this show and someone had to say it.

Your photographer is a total stranger to the little’s so they might get anxious, act up, not want to look or smile. You need to be ready to accept that you might not be getting a family photo where everyones looking because your 3 year old nephew is shy around us and crying.

Some kids totally ham it up for the camera though. It can go either way!

Candid Family Photos

These are just as important as formal photos and yet get so over looked – but always end up the fan favorites: it’s the candid photos!

We know who the VIP’s of your day are, so we always try get lots of candid photos of them through out the wedding day from when you’re getting ready to the last dance of the night.