7 Wedding Traditions You Can Skip
I love traditions in theory, I really do, they can be nostalgic & fun and bring you warm & fuzzy memories!
But there are just some wedding traditions that I think it’s time to say good bye to.
Wedding traditions aren’t bad per se, and I’m not shaming anyone who does them or loves them or plans to do them, but they aren’t for everyone and I feel like some couples planning their wedding are under the impression that they HAVE to do all of them simply because it’s what everyone else does and has done for decades/centuries.
I’m here to tell you that you can ditch, modify & keep any wedding “tradition” you want! These are just some ideas for people who cringe at the thought of doing any of these age old wedding traditions.
The Wedding Party
I was a bridesmaid once.
I’ll never do it again.
I also HAD a wedding party once. And when I got married a second time I said “NO THANK YOU” even though I love my friends dearly. But I also said no thank you to inviting anyone, so there’s that too.
The more people you involve in your day, the more unwanted opinions you’re gonna hear about literally everything. And your friends do mean well, but do you really want to hear over and over “well at MY wedding we did THIS” because you’re gonna hear it. Over and over and over.
Not to mention, the same style dress doesn’t look good on all body types so someone’s gonna hate how they look for all the money they spent to stand up at the ceremony with you. And really, that’s their like only purpose the day of the wedding.
Instead… Do your friends a solid – Ditch the wedding party. Or at least keep it VERY small. Like 2 people each.
You can still invite your besties to get ready with you and ask them to dress in similar colors & get a few group photos at cocktail hour. But other than that, they’ll be regular guests with zero pressure to perform.
No duties, no jealousy, no dresses or suits they’ll never wear again, no unwanted opinions or fighting. No groomsmen showing up absolutely hammered to your ceremony to the point where they cant even stand up straight (yeeeeah, we’ve seen that more than once).
We’ve had a few couples ditch the wedding party but still spent the morning with their best friends and it’s been absolutely WONDERFUL and the couple was so relaxed because they didn’t have to manage anyone.
White Wedding Dresses
Oh the white wedding dress. Thanks, Queen Victoria! (Learn more behind the history of wedding traditions)
Not everyone loves or looks good in white or cream or off white or champagne or any other color similar to it. Some of us love pink so much that we make it our personality (hi, thats me in my pink wedding dress up there).
Maybe you look fantastic in red or dusty blue. Or emerald green!
You want to look & feel your absolute best on your wedding day so if wearing a white wedding dress makes you feel “meh” then, dare I say it…don’t wear white. Wear anything you want and add glam by choosing to paint your nails acrylic with glitter for your special day.
As you can see above, I wore a pink & purple dress and let me tell you what – it didn’t make me any less married. And I looked amazing. And EVERYONE says that it was the perfect dress for ME.
So pick a color that makes you feel INCREDIBLE.
I know most bridal gown stores only carry white dresses but go find a formal gown somewhere else. It doesn’t have to come from a bridal store!
Teuta Matoshi is an incredible dress designer, check her out. You’ll find insanely gorgeous gowns for less than a lot of designer wedding gowns. I think the most expensive dress I saw she has is like $2,700 but most of them hover between $1,000-$1,800.
Ok but what if wearing a white dress is your dream but you still want to include some color?
Spice up your bridal look with a colored veil or a colored crinoline!
Parents Giving You Away
Not everyone has a good relationship with their parents, or maybe one of them has passed away or you have a great relationship with both of them and don’t want to leave the other parent out of the wedding duties.
So who gives you away?
Well, you can walk down the aisle with your fiance together, or ask both of your parents to walk you down the aisle, or your child! Or maybe someone else who has had a huge impact in your life can do the honor.
Or…you can walk yourself (-:
Or walk your dog?? That’d be really cute.
Seeing Each Other For the First Time at The Alter
I know some people have dreamed of this moment and I’ll never tell you to do a First Look if this is truly how you envision your wedding.
But I’ve been a wedding photographer for over 12 years and never not once has any of our couples who have done a First Look regretted doing it.
I’ve been told countless times that doing a First Look didn’t make the aisle walk any less special and they weren’t nervous anymore because they had already seen each other!
On the other hand, I’ve heard time and time again from traditional couples that they wish they had had more time on the wedding day and wish they could have spent more time with their guests.
I don’t know. I just think it’s strange to spend all this money on your wedding day to then spend most of it avoiding each other for the first half of it and then once you finally do see each other you then have to be kept away from your guests to take your wedding pictures.
They came all this way to celebrate you and you aren’t even around to BE loved on by them.
Do a First Look & get 90% of your formal photos out of the way so you can party!
The Bouquet and Garter Toss
Think of your grandmothers, please!
The garter toss is super awkward and to be honest, so is the bouquet toss (why you gotta call out your single friends like that?)
Instead of tossing your flowers, why not do an anniversary dance? Basically all married couples come onto the dance floor and as the song goes on, couples leave based on how long they’ve been married until the longest married couple is left!
Then you can give them the flowers and they in turn can you give some marriage advice!
But please…just skip the actual garter removal/toss. You can still wear one if you want & have it removed in private (-;
Cutting the cake
I’ve always thought this was a really strange tradition. Why do 150 people have to watch you cut a cake and feed it to each other? Plus, people love to elbow your photographer out of the way for this.
I’ve been seeing more and more private cake cuttings because couples feel weird having an audience for this.
This means no one is announcing to your guests that you’re about to do it but we can include your parents if you want!
Speeches
Ok I have a LOT to say about speeches to convince you to ditch them.
Mostly because a lot of people are not good at public speaking and it shows.
Unless your friend is hilarious and they’re super confident, you’re not gonna get very good reaction photos anyway.
Most people quite frankly look BORED in speech photos (including the couple). Not because YOU’RE boring, but because most people just aren’t good story tellers.
Here’s me going to bat for your friends – they’re NERVOUS to give this speech. They sweat, their hands are shaking as they prepare, I promise you, they probably don’t want to be doing this.
On more than one occasion, I’ve overheard other wedding party members talking about how the best man/maid of honor is currently in the bathroom throwing up because they have to give the speech in 10 minutes.
Also. Please.
Pleeeeease tell your dad that the Welcome Speech is not the time for a 45 minute oration of your life. Your guests are hungry. It cuts into your time on the dance floor. 5 minutes tops, pops.
We’ve also seen speeches go on for over an hour which, you guessed it, cuts into your dancing. How pissed are you gonna be if that happens? Its extremely common for speeches to go for more than 15 minutes each even if you gave your friends and family a time limit. Unfortunately, countless time we’ve heard people giving the speech even say during it “So & So told me to keep it to 3 minutes but this is definitely gonna be at least 10” and then they spoke for 20 minutes. Thats quite frankly incredibly disrespectful you guys.
An alternative is to have them all done at the rehearsal dinner – less of a crowd, probably way less nerves and dad can talk all he wants (-:
Katie + Jay of Catherine Ann Photography are Charleston SC Based Wedding & Elopement Photographers specializing in candid & fun wedding photos that feel like you!
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